For months you have been feeling sick. You even thought that you were going crazy. They have put
    you through trillions of tests and yet they don't find anything wrong with you. Until the day that they
    finally gave you a name for your illness- Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Curiosity takes you to find more about
    this disease. You want to find a reason but the more you read the more you get scare. Suddenly you
    find yourself with the thought: Why me?

    That question will be forever in our mind, specially in those days that even the simple things are hard
    to do. Nobody can give us the answer to why. They can't even tell us what has caused it. They can
    explain to us that it is an autoimmune disease, that it affects our nervous system, that it can
    progress or not and some theories of how it how not it could have started.

    NO, it is not a punishment for something that we did wrong, or a punishment to our family. You
    should not feel guilt. We are good people and we have lived the best we can. It just is.....  

    The most difficult thing to do in this disease, like any other chronic disease, is to accept that we have
    it. Specially when to the rest of the world it is synonym of disability.

    But I am not defined by my disease, I am not MS.
    I am a person with necessities and dreams that happens to have MS.

    Most probable you have passed through a mourning period. Mourning for the lost of your way of life,
    for the things that you won't be able to do or the limitations you will have to face. In my case it was
    not to be able to work in the profession that I have loved so much. But this period like any other must
    finish accepting the disease but it should never be done with resignation.

    Resignation is synonym of defeat. To accept the disease does not mean that we gave up. On the
    contrary it makes it easier to learn to live with it because then we don't waste energy denying its
    existence.

    To accept the disease means that we accept the necessity to make change in our lives. Such changes
    can included: our lifestyle, our daily routines, our house or our work. This is something that we cannot
    avoid if we want to remain useful to ourself, our family and society.

    You are in charge, even when it doesn't seem like it. What you do of your life depend of you and not
    of the MS.

Why me? Coming to terms with the disease





Maria A Reyes-Velarde,
MD, MPH
hablemosdeem.com
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